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Random Late Nights Ponderings

It's a real turn on to watch some porn online where the women react to how large the man's penis is. They comment on it, measure it, look nervous. Of course, the real hot part is that in the back of my head, I'm thinking "My cock is bigger/longer/thicker." The comparison against a porn star where I end up with the larger cock...on days I'm depressed that sometimes cheers me up a bit.

Late at night, i sneak down to my basement to have a smoke and take my pants off. After a long day, letting him unfurl and hang alongside my balls feels like the first time all day I could breathe deeply. I'll sit here and let it dangle and alot of my stress of the day seems to go away.

I have a very good friend who has slept with the same woman I had. He admitted to me that she told him all about my cock. She told him "he has a massive piece of meat" and so he wanted to ask me specifically how big. I made sure he really wanted to know. So I told him I was a very thick 10". He paused and replied "My penis is only 4" long." What do you say at that point? "Haha!"? No, of course not. But it did feel like, as friends, we crossed some barrier. He's one of the only few who know and doesnt tease me about it. He said once "I kinda feel bad for you...your ex told me it was a painful experience when you two fucked. Do you wish you were smaller?" I answered, "somedays." He smiled and said, "I'm sorry man" and hugged me. He is a rare rare man and a special friend.

I got high with my female best friend once and I ended up hard. She noticed (and yeah, she already knew i was big) and asked to see it. So I took it out and sat back, letting it stick straight up in the air in her living room. "Jesus, that would ruin me." I hear that alot from women who turn me down.

Apparently I was the topic of one bachlorette party according to a person who was there. No one knew she and I had a secret sexual thing going on, so she kept quiet but the other women spent a long time discussing "Sean's giant dick". I both enjoy and hate being talked about that way when I'm not around. Both.

I've had dozens of 3somes, been invited to help cuckold a man, had a great deal of public sex and masterbation, watched two Russian 19 year olds drunkenly struggle with my size, and done more porn than I'd admit, all because of the size of my penis.

As I write this entry, my penis is hard, resting on the keyboard. If I bend my head down a bit and point it up, mmmmm. I like how it feels in my mouth. Its thick as hell. I've got such a huge cock, it's crazy.

Penis Envy Documentary

http://www.hostingxlg.com/pornblog/?p=6

A great conversation about penis size in society. Not safe for work.

Self-conciousness

It's taken me a while to get up the courage to write some more. I am not accustomed to speaking openly about this and my friend's insistence upon me writing this blog was an attempt to overcome it. Sadly, I have a tough time with that. My mom raised me to be humble and despite all the crazy shit that's happened to me, I still am pretty humble about my dick.

My ex I wrote about before was one of the first women to get off on my size. I dont mean she was the first to get an orgasm over it, or enjoy it, but she was the first person who would get completely soaking wet at the thought of my big dick. She would measure me, pull it out constantly in public places where we could get caught, told her friends about it, etc. She loved it all. Just the thought that her boyfriend was hung turned her into a little nympho.

I gotta admit, this is the hottest thing in the world for a guy like me. I mean, I've had sex a number of times where the woman begged me to stop, or started bleeding vaginally, or in some cases couldn't even get my cock head into her pussy. And while on paper that sounds sexy to some, it really is a let down when she's in pain, or bleeding, and you are left guilty and hard.... I admit, most of the time, I'm pretty self-conscious about my size because of this. People don't realize the reality of this, the difficulties, and so assume its all good for the ego. Sometimes, when the naked woman below you goes "take it out. it hurts." then gets dressed to leave in pain, your ego isn't well-stroked.

Then there are the rare few women like Katie was. Truly in love with very big cocks. She would get me really high and blindfold me at times. Then let a friend come in to look at it and play with it. I would sit there quiet like a statue as they'd whisper about it or touch it. It would be pretty obvious from the voice who it was, but i wouldn't act like i knew. I felt so proud during these moments. Having my cock admired like that. I'd be very turned on and I knew she would be too. Hearing Katie whisper "Isn't this the biggest cock you've ever seen??" to some 'mysterious' stranger was good for my ego.

Lately, I've had too much trouble with my significant other being comfortable with my size. This has depressed me to no end. What I want is someone like Katie. A Size queen. Someone interested not just in big dicks, but one like mine...very long and very fat...a horse-sized one. I want her to be in love with it not just because it's part of me, but because just the sight of it makes her so wet that she can't think straight. So utterly in love with the size. So hot for it she brags to her friends about it. "My boyfriend's cock is so big, i cant get my hand around it!"

It's been a long time since I've heard something positive like that. I guess I'm nostalgic for a time when i wasn't so self-conscious. Sounds silly to put it down into words like this, but it's the truth. Maybe a little appreciation would be nice someday.

Auto-Fellatio

So let's get the obvious questions you may have out of the way. First, yes, it hurts the back. After a little bit, your muscles in your back get exhausted and the curve of the spine begins to ache. So it's not something you'll want to take your time at. Second, I'm rather thick so it makes my jaw sore. If you try to suck on one of those cardboard paper towel tubes, you'll get an approximation of the difficulty of taking much of me orally (I'm slightly thicker). So when I'm sucking my own cock, it generally is for show or for the novelty of it, not for long-term pleasure.

That said, if you tell a person that you can suck your own dick, chances are they will want to see you do it. I've been asked by women, gay men, straight men, groups of people, and so on. There is a perverse pleasure in seeing the effect of what the idea does to people. Then when you show them...

They ask to hold it, they get in real close to see my lips around it, they absentminded drool or fondle themselves while seeing it. They all comment. I've given shows to a group of people before. And even though I am only able to get an inch or two in my mouth, the feeling of having my cock worshipped is a strong intoxicant. "Yes, that's right. My cock is so huge I can suck it myself. Look!"

I don't think anyone would believe me if i told all the stories i have about licking and sucking my own cock in front of people. There have been some strange situations in my life. One story: I dated a woman so impressed by the fact that i could do this that one night after a pitcher of blue kamikazes, she blurted out to her sister and her two friends in attendance that "X can suck his own cock". They immediately demanded proof. We went into the bedroom, I stripped and sat on the bed. The "oohs" and "aahs" changed as i wrapped my hands around my cock and stroked it to get hard to "oh my gods" and "holy shits". My girlfriend all the while saying "told you he was huge". Once hard, i got cocky, waving it around bragging about how long and fat it is ("Ever seen a cock this big? This heavy?"), then bent down and took the thick spongy head into my mouth. You could hear my girlfriend muttering "fuck yeah" as i two-fisted my long shaft and sucked on the head of my cock.

I didn't orgasm that evening. Like I said earlier, it is a painful exercise. But I did get up from the bed, hard dick sticking straight out, and walked into the kitchen for a drink. I remember relaxing nude in front of them all evening as they made glances, bad jokes, and such at my lingering half-erection. It was one of those points in my life when I was proud to be so large. I really enjoyed showing off as well. This is my secret fantasy. To find that level of desire over it, lust for its size, knowing it has power over someone. I've often said I will worship the entire woman I'm with, so long as she worships my penis. Fair trade I'd say.

Before my girlfriend and I broke up, I ended up having sex of some kind with each of the people in attendance, including her sister. A threesome with two sisters is a pretty rare experience. I'll never forget her sister squatting over me, poised, and nervous while my girlfriend comforts and tells her to not worry. Something I wouldn't have had if not for my beautiful, long, thick, heavy, horsecock.

The Beginning Unaware

When I was 15, I lost my virginity to a girl named Gretchen. It didn't last long and we were in the uncomfortable back seat of my mom's car. She told me it hurt, but I didnt know that was my fault and as I lasted seconds, we never brought it up again.

Later, as a junior in HS, I had been making out with my gf and we'd gotten naked. She and I tried for a while to get the condom on, but it wouldnt go over the head of my penis. I didn't realize anything was amiss, only that we were having trouble with the condom I'd brought, and ended up never having sex.

It wasn't until Katie, my gf in my senior year, made a comment during our first night in her apt (she was a year older). We'd gotten naked in her bed for the first time. She'd wrapped her hand around my erection in the dark and paused. I can remember her words to this day, "Fuck me. You're HUGE!" I didn't know at the time so doubted her but she made a point to compare me to her exes. It took us some patience and work, but she managed to take me. The whole time she was cursing and going "so fucking big" over and over as she rode me.

I went home late that night and measured myself. I knew average was 5-6" and i was much longer than that. I remember being turned on by the fact that my cock was "huge". Here i was a tall skinny geek of a kid, who spent his life being bullied and beaten up, and it turns out I won the cock jackpot.

The next day I tried bending down and viola! I could suck myself.

I Have a Huge Cock

At the behest of a friend, I am starting this blog in order to have a safe place to openly discuss my large penis and its' effect on my life. I'm not sure I'm ready to say exactly how big it is, but as an ex once told me, "both hands and my mouth can't handle it all". I suppose I'll stay vague for now, not trying to set expectations about it's actual dimensions...I'd rather talk about how it makes me feel (and how it makes others feel). I'm pretty shy about how big it is so this blog is an exercise in getting over my shyness and talking about it. It's long, thick, and beautiful. I shouldn't be shy about it, but it's caused alot of damage over the years and I'm regularly objectified over it. I understand that, but it still begins to weigh heavily on a man to have negativity surrounding his penis size. Here is my ongoing attempt to be proud of having a huge cock.